Rules

<<<<<Cardinal Rule>>>>>

Anything seen, done, or heard at the Munches, and especially at Parties. is to remain at the party or munches.

>>WHY? All of us have lives outside this Group. Some of the information that is shared or showed if it were to enter our work life, could do some serious Damage<<

Unfortunately rules are needed for any BDSM organization. Some groups have more rules than others, but they usually break down into the same tenets.  Here are the Dayton-BDSM Support Group's rules:

1.  Anyone who attends a Dayton-BDSM Party must first attend two of the Munches.

2.  You must supply your own play partners.  While there will be times when people will meet one another at a party and decide to play, please keep in mind that our parties are not "meat markets".  If your reason for attending is to 'pick up' on someone, then Dayton-BDSM is probably not the group for you.

3. Each member must supply their own personal play toys.  While everyone is welcome to use the 'large' equipment, i.e. bondage crosses, spanking benches, etc.  You will need to bring your own cuffs, whips, paddles and what ever other toys you wish to use.

4.   Do not interrupt a scene. If you have questions for the participants in a scene save them until after they have finished. Keep your conversations quiet while play is taking place. If you would rather talk than observe a scene, please move to another area to conduct your conversations.

5. If you are uncomfortable with an on-going scene, you should simply step away from it. Do not infringe on the rights of others. If for any reason a scene needs to be stopped it will be done by the Dungeon Monitor.  If you feel a scene is unsafe inform the Dungeon Master and he/she will review the scene.

6.  The universal safeword at Dayton-BDSM parties is RED.   If someone uses the safeword, the activity must be stopped immediately.  Both parties must agree to anything that occurs in a scene. And each party has the right to refuse any act.  If the submissive in a scene is to be gagged at any time, a safe signal must first be discussed with the Dungeon Monitor.

7.   If you make a mess, clean it up.  The Host of the party was generous enough to allow us to use his/her home, let's not abuse that privilege.

8.   No drugs or alcohol is permitted.

10.  No photography is permitted without the express consent of those who may be in the picture.

11.   Due to safety and sanitary issues, blood, scat and water sports are not permitted at any Dayton-BDSM party.  

12.   Dayton-BDSM parties/meetings are "pot luck" events.   Anyone attending is expected to bring some sort of food dish to share along with whatever you wish to drink that night.  Dayton-BDSM will provide napkins, cups, etc.

13.  Because our parties are held in the homes of our members, you should always dress "vanilla" prior to entering the place where the party is to be held.  Once inside, you may change into whatever fetish wear you wish, or run around naked if you like.  But only once you are inside. The hosts of our parties do have neighbors and we must respect their right to privacy.

Etiquette

Always observe the safe, sane, and consensual rule. The safety of everyone is paramount and is also the responsibility of everyone in attendance. If in doubt, err on the side of caution; or consult the Dungeon Monitor. The Dungeon Monitor is there to assist you as needed;  as well as enforce the Party rules. If the Dungeon Monitor asks you to stop an activity, you must do so at once. If you disagree with his/her appraisal of the situation, discuss it with him/her quietly. You may be asked to leave the function for disobeying the rules. Remember to negotiate all scenes before you play!

Respect should always be accorded to every individual and their possessions. If someone is submissive it does not mean that they will be submissive to you; likewise, if someone is Dominant, it does not mean they are required to dominate you! Avoid bias regarding gender, and please do not make assumptions regarding roles. Someone may be new to the scene, or have fetish interests other than as a Dominant/switch/submissive.

Be honest and objective when describing a potential scene, but do not take it personally if you ask someone to play and they turn you down. There are many reasons why people choose with whom to play and/or when to play.

Ask permission before touching someone, as some people are very sensitive about their personal space, or may be under orders to avoid bodily contact. Likewise, ask for permission before handling toys or equipment, which belongs to another person.

Some D/s players prefer formal Dominant/submissive behaviors, so be aware of verbal, behavioral, or visual cues such as formal body stances, eyes to the floor, strict attention to the Dominant, etc. For example, a sub with a leash in their mouth is not available for conversation. If a sub does not respond to you, they may be under orders not to speak or interact.

If a Dom/me or submissive is obviously occupied, do not interfere; and never try to participate in a scene unless you are invited to do so. Please watch scenes quietly and respectfully. Remember that scene-space can be fragile and easily destroyed; so avoid crowding an ongoing scene, limit conversation of any kind, and speak in a quiet tone of voice in any area where play is occurring. There are designated play areas at any Party function. Please be mindful of what is happening around you.

If you are playing, try to limit the space you need for a scene and do not monopolize the major equipment, as someone else may be waiting to use it. Also, make sure you have enough room for play without hitting bystanders with equipment or toys! Keep track of your gear and always ask permission before borrowing toys. Clean any borrowed toys after use and return them promptly. Please be considerate and clean up any messes you make.

Please do not hesitate to ask for help with unfamiliar equipment or techniques. If you are playing with a new partner, please inform the Dungeon Monitor so they can assist you as needed. Experienced players know their partners; it is not up to us to place limits on them as long as they are following established etiquette and protocol, and are safe, sane, and consensual.

A sub should never be left unattended during a scene. If there is a need for a Dom/me to leave, he/she should appoint someone to watch over the submissive, preferably an experienced player or the Dungeon Monitor. Shrieking and screaming should be limited, but moaning is always nice.